A couple I've been working with for several months — I'll call them Sara and Nate — shared something with me recently, almost sheepishly. They'd had an argument a few nights ago. It was a familiar one: Sara had come home exhausted after a long day and needed space to...
Dear Therapist, I’ve been reading about the Four Horsemen from The Gottman Method, and I really want to improve how I show up in my relationship. But honestly, it’s hard to catch myself in the moment. Sometimes it feels like I only realize I was critical or defensive...
Hearing someone say, “I’m giving them the silent treatment” brings up an array of emotions and memories. I feel anxious, recalling times when someone deliberately ignored me, and petty, remembering when I used silence to express frustration or “teach a lesson.” I also...
We’ve all heard about passive-aggressive behavior. You may have even seen the latest passive-aggressive memes or email sign-offs like: "As per my last email.” Insert eye-roll. And while these memes and posts certainly bring a laugh, when your partner acts passively...
Why is it so hard to apologize? Saying "I'm sorry" seems like a simple anecdote to a problem, so why can it sometimes be the hardest thing to do? Apologizing is the repair needed to build a bridge back to others. Understanding how to apologize within a relationship...
Most people are good at apologizing, depending on the context. If you bump into someone in the office break room, "Sorry!" If you accidentally spill something at the grocery store, "I'm so sorry!" In close relationships, though, apologizing can be one of the hardest...
Isn’t it surprising how quickly things can go off the rails when you have a disagreement with your partner? One minute, you’re driving down the road easily talking about vacation plans, and the next minute your partner is crackling with tension and you’re fighting...
Do you know how to repair your relationship through a sincere apology? What even constitutes a “sincere apology?” Which wrongs require a heartfelt apology? Mistakes are inevitable in every relationship. And how you repair those mistakes is essential to a healthy,...