Do you ever wonder why your relationship with your partner doesn't feel deeply fulfilling? Your way of attaching to others, your attachment style, is a blueprint for how you connect in close relationships. Your attachment style is shaped by your early experiences with...
Attachment
Ask a Therapist: How Do I Get Over My Insecurities?
Everyone feels insecure at times. Insecurities can sneak into any relationship, whether at work or with family, in your romantic relationship, or with friends. If you've ever felt burdened with insecurities in your relationship and are unsure how to move forward, you...
Is Your Partner a Pursuer or Withdrawer? Why Does It Matter?
A loving partnership is one of the most valuable things in life. Being able to turn to and depend on our partner creates deep joy, shelter, and protection through life's challenges. But no matter how secure our relationship is, we all experience periods of...
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
You may have encountered EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy if you have researched therapy types. This well-known approach is based on John Bowlby's attachment research from more than 50 years ago. Bowlby found that humans and higher primate animals appeared to have...
Therapy 101: What You Need to Know About Attachment
What is attachment? If you’ve ever Googled questions related to love, romance, or parenting, you might have come across the term “attachment.” You may have seen books on attachment at the library or even encountered the term in therapy. While the concept of attachment...
Have You Caused an Attachment Injury? Here’s How to Work Through It
We have all been hurt in our closest relationships, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It is a simple fact of life. Many of these injuries are shallow, and heal without much effort, like paper cuts. Sometimes, though, the injury is more serious, because it...
Why You’re (Probably) Not Codependent
I first heard the term “codependent” as a counseling student in graduate school. I remember working with one of my first clients, who was going through a painful breakup at the time. I can still see her sitting across from me in that cramped university office, tears...
Are You a Pursuer, Withdrawer, or a Bit of Both?
Let’s put on our science hats for a moment to understand attachment theory. John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth pioneered this concept in their work with mothers and children in the 1900s. Dr. Sue Johnson, Mario Mikulincer, and Philip Shaver, among many others, have...