For many couples, conversations about body changes are some of the hardest conversations to have — not because couples are superficial or unloving, but because these topics touch deeply vulnerable places in all of us. You may be thinking to yourself: “I don’t even...
The first time my husband, then boyfriend, came to visit my family, I had to sit him down and warn him that my family might be “a lot.” I briefed him that there would be kisses and hugs, even though it was their first time meeting him. I warned him about the prayers...
Dinner is over, dishes are still on the table. Natalie is talking about her day — something stressful, something that mattered. Jack nods, eyes fixed on his phone, thumb scrolling. “Are you listening?” Natalie asks. “Yeah,” Jack replies, not looking up. She goes...
Erin: “I shared how I felt and you said nothing. Your silence said everything!” Taylor: “I didn’t know what to say… so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to make it worse!” I hear this kind of exchange often in couples therapy. In this case, Erin and Taylor were a...
Dear Therapist, My partner keeps telling me I’m defensive. I don’t see it that way. I feel like I’m just explaining myself. I don’t want to come across as difficult, but I also don’t think it’s fair to always take the blame. How do I know if I’m actually being...
Blame and denial are natural responses when relationships feel tense or uncertain. Many couples struggle with communication breakdowns, emotional distance, and repeated conflict. Yet, few realize how often these patterns are fueled by underlying defenses like blame...
Dear Therapist, I’ve been reading about the Four Horsemen from The Gottman Method, and I really want to improve how I show up in my relationship. But honestly, it’s hard to catch myself in the moment. Sometimes it feels like I only realize I was critical or defensive...
How many couples are ready, willing, and able to commit an entire weekend to their relationship? Months ago, I found myself in an interesting position trying to answer this question. At the time, I was a new employee of Connect Couples Therapy* who had just learned...