How do you manage your feelings? Are emotions helpful or unnecessary? Are there some emotions that are okay to express while others are not? How did the family you were raised in handle emotions—anger, sadness, joy, disgust, and worry? As couples therapists, these are...
Do you ever ask yourself questions like "How can I take time for myself without neglecting my partner?" or "Can I really have a successful relationship if I feel like I'm always putting myself last?" If you are, you are not alone. Whether you are newlyweds in the...
The word “boundaries” in a romantic partnership can trigger negative connotations, conjuring up images of angry and controlling partners. However, there is a different way to look at this idea. Boundaries are the rules and agreements that make it possible to remain in...
“ We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily difference we can make, which over time, often add up to big differences we often cannot foresee.” - Marian Wright Edelman It would be accurate and certainly...
Sitting in the afternoon light of my therapy office, I observe the faces of the couple across the coffee table. They are restricted, tense, and in pain. Hans* explains in a small voice that they have decided to end their marriage. His wife, Allison*, cries quietly...
The words we choose to express how we feel can undeniably impact how we relate to one another. In the words of the esteemed poet Rumi, “Raise your words, not your voice. It is the rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” As a marriage and family therapist, I see this...
When was the last time you looked at your wedding day photos? It’s truly a trip down memory lane — a moment to pause and remember where you started. These beautiful photos make two things very clear to me: We look like babies. Oh wow, we look so young. We had no idea...
We have all been hurt in our closest relationships, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It is a simple fact of life. Many of these injuries are shallow, and heal without much effort, like paper cuts. Sometimes, though, the injury is more serious, because it...