So often when working with couples in therapy, I hear one partner describe themself as “more emotional,” while the other describes themself as “more logical.” Left-brained, right-brained, rational, empathic…there are many descriptors for how we might view ourselves...
Why should you prioritize your mental health? In recent years, particularly throughout the Covid-19 pandemic, increased attention has been given to the matter of mental health, not only in the US, but around the world. Celebrities like Beyoncé, Abby Wambach, and...
How do you manage your feelings? Are emotions helpful or unnecessary? Are there some emotions that are okay to express while others are not? How did the family you were raised in handle emotions—anger, sadness, joy, disgust, and worry? As couples therapists, these are...
Trauma is something that every person experiences in some shape or form at some point in life. Mental health professionals refer to “big T” and “little t” trauma, alluding to the effects that a person experiences as a result of a distressing or overpowering...
The word “boundaries” in a romantic partnership can trigger negative connotations, conjuring up images of angry and controlling partners. However, there is a different way to look at this idea. Boundaries are the rules and agreements that make it possible to remain in...
Sitting in the afternoon light of my therapy office, I observe the faces of the couple across the coffee table. They are restricted, tense, and in pain. Hans* explains in a small voice that they have decided to end their marriage. His wife, Allison*, cries quietly...
We have all been hurt in our closest relationships, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It is a simple fact of life. Many of these injuries are shallow, and heal without much effort, like paper cuts. Sometimes, though, the injury is more serious, because it...
I first heard the term “codependent” as a counseling student in graduate school. I remember working with one of my first clients, who was going through a painful breakup at the time. I can still see her sitting across from me in that cramped university office, tears...