Blog
Are you a Pursuer, Withdrawer, or a bit of both?
Ok, let’s put our science hat on for just a minute and understand something called Attachment Theory. John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth pioneered this concept in their work with mothers and children in the 1900s. Dr. Sue Johnson, Mario Mikulincer, and Philip Shaver,...
Love Languages
I’m sure you have heard about the 5 Love Languages. If not, it’s a book that breaks down the ways we feel the most loved. Usually all of them feel pretty nice, but there’s usually one powerhouse that helps us feel truly loved. When you get the full experience of...
Instead of What to Cut, What Can We Add In?
I was listening to an interview with a nutritionist the other day, and I was struck by something she said. She said that when people come to her trying to get healthier and lose weight, she doesn’t focus on what to cut out, she focuses on what to add in. Eating more...
Why is apologizing so hard?
Most people are pretty good at apologizing, depending on the context. If you bump into someone in the office break room – sorry! If you accidentally spill something in a grocery store – I’m so sorry! In your close relationships, though, apologizing can be one of the...
Safety Signals
It’s amazing how fast we react internally to people’s mood and tone. Someone can get an edge to their voice, have a frown on their face, or be extra quiet, and our brain signal us, “Alert! Something’s wrong!” In many ways, this is a good thing. We are sensitive to the...
Do you know your raw spots?
Do You Know Your Raw Spots? We all have raw spots. The tender, sensitive places that we know can trigger us into difficult feelings. For some, it could be feeling criticized. For others, it’s being doubted. Sometimes specific topics are a raw spot, like money or sex....
The Problem with Fights is They’re Fast
Isn’t it surprising how quickly things can go off the rails when you have a disagreement with your partner? One minute, you’re driving down the road easily talking about vacation plans, and the next minute your partner is crackling with tension and you’re fighting...
Our Science-Based Approach
We have experienced the deep fulfillment and inevitable disappointments in our own marriage and know the importance of having a clear map to navigate the complex and challenging territory of committed relationships. We use two primary models of treatment which are...
What is the Gottman Method?
We have experienced the deep fulfillment and inevitable disappointments in our own marriage and know the importance of having a clear map to navigate the complex and challenging territory of committed relationships. One of the maps that we’ve found to be the most...
The Phases of Marriage
Remaining in a committed relationship can be incredibly fulfilling and incredibly difficult, even for the healthiest couples. Our definitions of "love" and what it means to be in a satisfying relationship also weighs heavily on our ability to weather the difficult and...