Blog
Instead of What to Cut, What Can We Add In?
I was listening to an interview with a nutritionist the other day, and I was struck by something she said. She said that when people come to her trying to get healthier and lose weight, she doesn’t focus on what to cut out, she focuses on what to add in. Eating more...
Why is apologizing so hard?
Most people are pretty good at apologizing, depending on the context. If you bump into someone in the office break room – sorry! If you accidentally spill something in a grocery store – I’m so sorry! In your close relationships, though, apologizing can be one of the...
Safety Signals
It’s amazing how fast we react internally to people’s mood and tone. Someone can get an edge to their voice, have a frown on their face, or be extra quiet, and our brain signal us, “Alert! Something’s wrong!” In many ways, this is a good thing. We are sensitive to the...
Do you know your raw spots?
Do You Know Your Raw Spots? We all have raw spots. The tender, sensitive places that we know can trigger us into difficult feelings. For some, it could be feeling criticized. For others, it’s being doubted. Sometimes specific topics are a raw spot, like money or sex....
The Problem with Fights is They’re Fast
Isn’t it surprising how quickly things can go off the rails when you have a disagreement with your partner? One minute, you’re driving down the road easily talking about vacation plans, and the next minute your partner is crackling with tension and you’re fighting...
Our Science-Based Approach
We have experienced the deep fulfillment and inevitable disappointments in our own marriage and know the importance of having a clear map to navigate the complex and challenging territory of committed relationships. We use two primary models of treatment which are...
What is the Gottman Method?
We have experienced the deep fulfillment and inevitable disappointments in our own marriage and know the importance of having a clear map to navigate the complex and challenging territory of committed relationships. One of the maps that we’ve found to be the most...
The Phases of Marriage
Remaining in a committed relationship can be incredibly fulfilling and incredibly difficult, even for the healthiest couples. Our definitions of "love" and what it means to be in a satisfying relationship also weighs heavily on our ability to weather the difficult and...
3 Ways Therapy Can Change Your Life
You have a neutral person to help you self-reflect. The people in your life, such as family and friends, are there to love you through it all and support you no matter the cost. A therapist is neutral person who can provide support, while at the same time, ask you...
The Positive Perspective
Positive and negative interactions in a relationship don't have equal impact. It takes at least 20 positive interactions (e.g., saying "I love you," holding hands, asking about the day, etc.) to counteract 1 negative interaction (e.g., a critical statement). Positive...