Title: Collaborative Couple Therapy: Turning Fights into Conversations and Problems into Opportunities for Intimacy
Dates & Times: October 18th, 25th, & November 1st, 2019 – 12:00-1:00PM EST
Can’t attend some or all of the Live Webinar? Register to also have access to the recorded sessions to watch at a convenient time.
Presenter: Dan Wile, Ph.D.
Creator of Collaborative Couple Therapy
Author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship & After the Honeymoon: How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship
Cost: $180 (includes access to recorded webinars)
Connect Couples Therapy, PLLC
Even the most experienced therapists can be challenged in their efforts to move couples beyond the patterns of intense adversarial interaction and withdrawal that frequently characterize couple conflict. Collaborative Couple Therapy, developed by Dan Wile, PhD, provides therapists with a unique model for moving couples beyond this spiral of alienation and into a cycle of connection.
The purpose of this webinar is to present the principles of Collaborative Couple Therapy and equip participants to begin to use doubling—the signature method of this approach—in their own therapeutic work. Doubling was originally developed by Jacob Moreno for use in Psychodrama. When you double, you speak as if you were one of the partners talking to the other.
If Joe says to Carol, “It’s always about you. You’re selfish. You never consider anyone else. You never think about me at all,” the therapist, doubling for Joe, says, “I worry you’re going to leave me” or “I fear we’re drifting apart” or “I worry you don’t like me anymore” or “I miss the way we used to be” or “What happened to us?” The therapist transforms Joe’s blurted out accusation into a disarming self-disclosure by bringing out the wish or fear hidden in the complaint.
Since the therapist is making a guess, she or he immediately adds, “Where am I right and where am I wrong in my guess about how you feel?” John and Julie Gottman, who use doubling in their acclaimed couple therapy approach, have honored Dan by calling their use of this method, “Doing a Dan Wile.”
Doubling is the principal method for achieving the Collaborative Couple Therapy goal of shifting partners from fighting or withdrawing to intimate talking. Other special methods include how-much, sentence-completion, and end-of-the-session questions and compassionate overview statements.
In order to serve as an effective spokesperson for a partner, the therapist needs to feel a certain empathy for that partner and appreciation of that person’s struggle. Much of the time, however, the therapist doesn’t feel such empathy or appreciation. An important part of the work of the therapist, accordingly, is to find a way into that person’s struggle. It is helpful to remind myself that my job is to become spokesperson for the partner whom at the moment I find myself siding against.
This webinar combines the presentation of ideas with role-play demonstrations and group discussion. I like to think of it as a conversation about the power of conversation in couple relationships.