Safety Signals

Safety Signals

It’s amazing how fast we react internally to people’s mood and tone. Someone can get an edge to their voice, have a frown on their face, or be extra quiet, and our brain signal us, “Alert! Something’s wrong!” In many ways, this is a good thing. We are sensitive to the...
Do you know your raw spots?

Do you know your raw spots?

Do You Know Your Raw Spots? We all have raw spots. The tender, sensitive places that we know can trigger us into difficult feelings. For some, it could be feeling criticized. For others, it’s being doubted. Sometimes specific topics are a raw spot, like money or sex....
The Problem with Fights is They’re Fast

The Problem with Fights is They’re Fast

Isn’t it surprising how quickly things can go off the rails when you have a disagreement with your partner? One minute, you’re driving down the road easily talking about vacation plans, and the next minute your partner is crackling with tension and you’re fighting...
The Phases of Marriage

The Phases of Marriage

Remaining in a committed relationship can be incredibly fulfilling and incredibly difficult, even for the healthiest couples. Our definitions of “love” and what it means to be in a satisfying relationship also weighs heavily on our ability to weather the...
The Positive Perspective

The Positive Perspective

Positive and negative interactions in a relationship don’t have equal impact. It takes at least 20 positive interactions (e.g., saying “I love you,” holding hands, asking about the day, etc.) to counteract 1 negative interaction (e.g., a critical...